Thursday, February 4, 2016

Storms in Edinburgh

So basically these days my snap story has become my blog. No apologies.

The past couple weeks have been characterized by rain and storms. Friday I couldn't even get to work because the trains were all cancelled. So I took advantage of a day off to go to Edinburgh castle. There was this incredible moment when I was standing on the castle wall when the rain stopped and the sun came out and a wee rainbow appeared. And I remembered once again how much I love adventuring thorough a city.

I spent the summer I turned 16 on study abroad in Vienna with a group of older BYU students. It was my first opportunity to spend a chunk of time in Europe as well as my first time living away from home without supervision (ie not at summer camp). I remember so distinctly that for the first month or so every morning I woke up filled with wonder. In part that was because I was pretty consistently overwhelmed the whole time I was there. But it was also because I simply couldn't fathom all the new things I was experiencing and learning.

Since then, I've been nomading about the world. In the past 3.5 years, the longest I've lived in a single place/apartment is my 9 months at Swarthmore. I guess this wandering phase is one of the privileges of being in my early 20s (and not having to be financially independent). But I worry sometimes that too much vagabonding comes at my sense of wonder. Here, I don't wake up thrilled in the same was I did those Vienna mornings. But there are transcendent moments when I walk down the street and am struck with the beauty of the light on the buildings, or the strength of the wind, or the kindness of the people on the streets.

I suppose I experience a different sense of wonder living abroad at 21 than I did at 16. It's a kind of wonder that is focused more on how I fit into the world around me. The ever-weighing question of being in one's twenties is "who do I want to be and how am I going to get there?" The anxieties and fears of trying to map out an answer to that are real. But amidst comes those concerns comes wonder that things seem to always work out anyway. That I get to walk down Prince's street and see moments like this cessation of the rain, and that if I somehow arrived here, then I'll probably land on my feet, wherever else I end up.