Wednesday, June 26, 2013

It's my birthday and I'll do what I want to

And I want to take a road trip. To the grand canyon. With my best friends.

Peace out!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Aloha (means hello and goodbye)

Well, it's my last day in Hawaii, probably for several years. And I'm going to spend it going to the beach and I'm not even going to put on sunscreen, dammit. (I have actually been very diligent about sunscreen this trip). And maybe I'll read some of my book, or maybe I'll fall asleep listening to This American Life. Either way I win. When I overheat, I'll get in the ocean, because I actually love swimming in the ocean. I've loved swimming in the ocean for my whole life. Have I ever written about when I got certified for scuba diving? I was 10. It was the September I started 5th grade, and for several weeks, I took night classes at Scuba Utah - down on 20th East and Fort Union - so I could get certified. It was me and 6 other adults, and I loved it. There wasn't any special reason for me to get certified, I just really wanted to be able to dive. And our next Hawaii trip a few months later, I went diving in the ocean and for a little while wanted to be a marine biologist so I could spend my life in the ocean.

My motto for the past few days has been "I'm going to watch tv until my eyes fall out." So I've watched like 2.5 seasons of How I Met Your Mother. Which is awesome. But since today is my last day in Hawaii, I'm going to turn my computer off after I finish this blog post and do things other than watch HIMYM until my eyes fall out. Like I'm going to catch up on my journaling. And maybe I'll finish a book. Or maybe I won't. The possibilities are endless.

The other night, we walked down across the touristy part of the beach and reached the secluded section  which only some people know about (I know, exclusive, right?). We took our chairs and watched the sunset on the ocean, because that's lovely to do in Hawaii. Then we built a fire and hung out on the beach for a little bit. It was like camping, only sandy not dirty, chilly not cold, and sleeping in beds at the condo not sleeping bags. So really the fire was the only thing it had in common with camping.

I'm under the six week mark for the mission. Right now is almost exactly 5.5 weeks. On the one hand, it feels like I have lots of time for the things I need to do. On the other hand, it's getting a lot closer. But I'm getting SO EXCITED. Seriously, the closer it gets the more I just want to read all the missionary everything I can find. Missionary blogs. I can't even tell you how much of my life is spent on missionary blogs. It's sick. But also just pumps me up. I CANNOT WAIT TO BE A MISSIONARY.

Monday, June 17, 2013


Another day, another poem. This one is a revision of one I wrote (and I'm pretty sure posted on here) a while ago. It's definitely very different than my other poems, but I think there's something here. 


good grief good grief
there is no such good

grief no such thing

sun sparkling in the snow in the sand
in the sad dark

sad dark pathways
through worms
through words

where language fails one
drowned in the sound of the distance
in a damn well given
in thick

skin thick thick
skin protects weak hearts
small minds all minds –
we will still
still suffer

Sunday, June 16, 2013


I realized I have tons of poems that I haven't posted on here. Maybe I'll work on posting them. We'll see. Anyway, here's a poem that started out in a document titled "Don't Get Married At 18." I think it's kinda about my frustration with this whole Mormon dating scene where marriage is on the table after the first date. Maybe it's just about how I'm not ready to get married and I think it's absurd that I even have to say that; of course I'm not ready to get married. At any rate, here it is.


At the time,
you said it didn’t matter
that you weren’t old enough
to buy the champagne for your own wedding

because that ring was the nicest thing you’d ever owned
and it sure didn’t look like handcuffs to you.

At the time,
you said it didn’t matter
that you wanted to be an actress
because you believed in jumping into these things.

Now, you’ve been “Mark’s Mrs.” longer than you’ve been
“you,” and at the moment, you’re tired of the part.
Your voice isn’t big like it used to be, and it’s only
reading the damn scriptures in the damn bathtub
every morning that gets you through it.

You tell Mark you feel like a rag
that’s been twisted and twisted and twisted

and snapped to shreds. Because when he
asked you to pray
you whispered Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
and when he cut out your tongue
you emptied your breath, too –

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Grandma Hair

If you've ever met Lorin, you know he has white hair. He's had white hair since he started to go gray in his late 20s. It's therefore not surprising that both of his parents also had white hair for the latter halves of their lives. It was for this trademark Pugh characteristic that his mother got her title "Grandma with the White Hair." In hindsight, I'm not sure why we called her that. Lorin and Judy's boys just called her Grandma. We could have called her Grandma too; since Judy's mom was Nanny and Judy was Nanna, there was no one competing to be called Grandma. But, nevertheless, she was Grandma with the White Hair.

Judy's latest eccentricity is that she wants long hair. Specifically, she wants long hair that she can wear in a gray ponytail (because once Sam goes to college, she figures she can stop dying her hair). Whenever I tease her about this, she says, "One of the only good parts of getting old is not caring what anyone thinks. I want a ponytail and  I'm going to do what I damn well please." Which is just fine by me.

Tonight we were figuring how old she would be by the time I have children. Minimum is 80, but it will probably be closer to 85 or 90. She says she has good genes so this will be fine. We decided that since by then she will most certainly have hair long enough to wear in a ponytail we'd nix "Grandma Judy," which is what I've been calling her as of late, and let my kids call her "Grandma with the Ponytail." Which is just fine by me.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Book Hangover

Last night, I finished The Brothers K. I have a book hangover - "The inability to start a new book because you're still living in the last book's world."

In search of my next read, I sat down on my floor and looked through the pile of books I brought with me and realized that I didn't want to read any of them. My heart was still in Camas, Washington with the Chance family. Which is a lovely, lovely thing. Starting another book right now would be to turn on them. It'd be a rebound book. Trying to get back in the game before my heart was ready for it. It needs some time to move on.

The best books do this to be. I love them for it.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Summer Rolls On

Winnie came to Utah last week! It was sort of incredibly awesome. We did all the important things including: visiting The King's English, having dinner at Maza and brunch at Ruth's Diner (which I thought was an excuse to eat breakfast late but she thought was an excuse to eat lunch early), going to the cabin, riding ATVs/the Polaris, and visiting Park City. Probably the highlight of the weekend was that we went fishing at the cabin and Winnie caught her first fish!
Kat came over Saturday and I made dinner, which I haven't done in like forever. She took me to the airport on Sunday morning, because she is the loveliest. And now I'm in Hawaii, which is wonderful. I'm reading The Brothers K, and I am thoroughly enjoying it (those family epics are my favorites). And here's my favorite art print, as of late:

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

RIP Suitcase

I can't believe I almost forgot to blog about the suitcase!

I've had the same carry-on suitcase for about 9 years. Originally Lorin bought it for Judy, but Judy liked the one I bought at Costco better (because it's ever so slightly larger) so we switched. It's a mid-sized rollerboard suitcase; the kind that you can take as a carry-on for most flights. Anyway, it's black and plain, but it's been my faithful traveling companion to lots and lots of countries. Naturally, it was the one I packed all my stuff in for my most recent trip.

When I got to the airport, I pulled my suitcase out of the trunk and tried to pull the handle up. Nothing. I jimmied it for like 4 minutes and finally got it to come up. Which pretty much sums up what happened every time I tried to get my suitcase handle up for the whole trip. If it had been a trip to Hawaii or something, that wouldn't have been a big deal. But because we stayed in six hotels, we were moving every 2 or 3 days, so it was pretty awkward to always be trying to get my suitcase handle up. When we got to Turkey, it gave up completely. So I used my scarf to pull it, and that worked alright. Coming home I checked it so I wouldn't have to deal with it. And now I'm throwing it away.

RIP suitcase. We made a good run of it, dear friend.

Monday, June 3, 2013


Turkey was wonderful. Our first stop was an area called Cappadocia. It's an area best-known for it's landscape. Most of the rock is volcanic tuff, which is very soft, so it gets worn away by wind and water and creates interesting features. It actually looks fairly similar to Southern Utah's Goblin Valley or Fiery Furnace.

The best way to see the tuff is from a hot air balloon. The only time to take a hot air balloon ride is sunrise. So we left our hotel at 4:10 to do just that. Every day approximately 100 hot air balloons take off from the same are. I'd never been in a hot air balloon before, but it's really excellent. Being in the air with balloons all around was surprising. The balloon itself is very smooth, like you'd think a balloon would be. It was a beautiful way to see the landscape, because you really get a sense of it from the different heights the balloon goes to (we were between 10 and 450 meters off the ground (what is that in feet?)). The sunrise was wonderful, but even better was the early morning light on the rocks. There was such an interesting relief made by the shadows, that the rocks looked even more beautiful.

So we spent most of our time in Cappadocia going to different areas where we could see the lanscape. But two other neat things we did was go to a rug making factory and to a pottery place. The rug making factory was pretty humbling. Seeing those women weave those carpets - the spend on average a year per carpet - I couldn't believe people are capable of doing that. I was blown away by their focus and dedication. Then we got to see like 60 rugs that had been made at this place. They were all, of course, beautiful (and expensive). The pottery place was also very neat. This guy is like Turkey's favorite potter. So we watched him make a pot, then I got to try! I was not very good, surprise surprise. The stuff they had there was wonderful though.

After Cappadocia was Ephesus. Our guide was an Ephesian native, and he knew his hometown! Ephesus was just incredible. So old, but still so beautiful. The library was, of course, my favorite. What English major isn't a sucker for a beautiful library? I really loved seeing all the ancient ruins on this trip, which I didn't necessarily expect to love. But I'm coming to think that archeology is a lot like literature; cliche as it sounds, both are explorations of what it is to be human.

After Ephesus was Istanbul, where we did all the biggies - Egyptian Spice Market, Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque, Bosphorus/Golden Horn cruise, Topkapi Palace, and the Grand Bazaar. They were all better than they looked online, and I really liked Istanbul. It's a HUGE city, but with the Bophorus running through it, it doesn't feel too tightly packed. There were riots and stuff while we were there, but we avoided them, so that was good.

So anyway, it was a wonderful wonderful trip and I'm very lucky. I'm home now, until Friday when I leave for Hawaii. Because I'm incredibly spoiled like that.

PS. I came home to this. WHAT?