I can't remember who said it - whether it was a teacher or a friend or a famous author I heard speak - but someone once told me about paying attention to trends in my writing, because it usually reflects something going on in your subconscious. And though I'll admit it does sound a wee bit fringy, this has proven true to me several times over.
Lately, the trend in my poetry and scattered attempts at essays has been pathways. Not Robert Frost two-roads-diverged pathways, more trying-to-move-forward and trying-to-move-toward-something pathways. I realize the difference isn't that clear. But it's real! They are different!
Anyway, I hadn't really thought about what this pathway fetish meant, because I never do when things show up in my writing. I was just rolling with it. But tonight, I think I kinda figured it out.
I got oneofthose texts from my friend Chandler earlier tonight. It said: what are you trying to get out of college. Which was random. But my reaction was pretty instant: I'm trying to find my path. I've been thinking about that all night.
One of the best things about this time of life is that it's the only time I get to be really selfish. I get to live on my own but off my parents. My only real responsibility is school, which is a privilege anyway. I don't have a job or a boss or a husband or a family to be responsible to. I get to learn about things I'm passionate about and figure out what I want my path to look like.
I guess that's what I mean by this is not a Robert Frost path. I'm not making a single decision. I'm trying to figure out where I really want to be headed. I don't even care that it's a cliche. It's true. This is the time of my life where I get that luxury. And I've been enjoying it. Some days I don't really know what exactly I'm doing. But I've been following my heard instead of my head for a change. I've been following what feels right for me. And I like where it's taking me.
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Day 27: I am grateful for the outlets I have to express myself.
Day 28: This is stupid, but I'm grateful for my iPhone and the 8 billion ways it keeps me in touch will the people I don't get to see everyday anymore.