So The Blessing by Gregory Orr is one of the best books I've read this year. (And I read a lot of great books this year.) It's just so phenomenally earnest. It's rip-your-heart-out tragic, between the murdered brother, dead mother, and amphetamine-addicted father, but Orr's heart is so stunning, because he doesn't say "shit happened but it was all for the best" he says "shit happened and it hurt like hell and I wanted to die, but now I can understand how was a blessing." It's a privilege to get to read his book and inhabit his heart.
So one of the parts that spoke most to me comes when he's talking about having just killed his brother and how people kept telling him it was an accident. He says:
How could I live in a world where everything was random, where Accident ruled and where one day I might wake to sunshine and blue sky and another, find own brother dead at my feet? Accident. Unbearable word, unbearable world.
And my heart was like me, mine, that's me right there on the page. Which was like woah. Accident is one of my least-favorite words too, because it's all wrapped up in one: The Accident, The Cemetery, The Anniversary. And that's just unbearable word, unbearable world.
PS. If you're hankering for more Gregory Orr, or more heart-breaking, check out the poem If There is a God