Thursday, February 16, 2012

A letter to NYU

Dear NYU,

I'm sorry to inform you that you made a very poor decision in not accepting my best friend. Why?

Because I'm coming for you.

Not really. Actually, it was a bad decision because she's phenomenal.

Here are 20 reasons I love Kat and 20 reasons you made the wrong decision:

1. When we were freshman we put temporary purple streaks in our hair. Which was cool, even though they faded to this ugly gray color.
2. "Kat is so ugly the basilisk died when it looked at her."
3. She introduced me to real coffee.
4. All of Sophomore year she drove to my house to pick me up because I was stranded without a license.
5. She sucks at ceramics.
6. Also, she sucks at physical activity.
7. When we spent a summer on different continents, we kept a facebook message chain. When copied into word, it was over 200 pages long.
8. People too often assume we're a lesbian couple. We're not, though, thank you very much.
9. She too has a crush on Steinbeck. We pretend it's alright to love a man who has been dead for 43 years.
10. On the weekend, we get dinner and discuss politics and literature.
11. At the end of Matewan, she wept. She weeps all the time. It's sweet.
12. She watches Cougar Town, commonly known as the funniest show on television.
13. Sometimes she combs her hair!
14. She's a vegetarian, which means she's better than most people.
15. The girl can sword fight. SWORD FIGHT!
16. She came up with the idea of keeping dark chocolate in a secret locker at school. The chocolate locker has gotten us through lots of bad days.
17. Mostly, she listens to Queen.
18. She's an amazing actress, you dumbshits.
19. She works harder and is more dedicated to doing her best than anyone I've ever met.
20. When we both end up waitressing and starving in New York looking for work as an actress and a writer, we'll split tips.

So NYU, go fuck yourselves,


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