Thursday, January 12, 2012

Places to Cry

Yesterday, I came home from young womens on the verge of a teeny meltdown. Not a major one, just a little one. About small things. So I got home and I had myself a little teeny sobfest. This has prompted a consideration of the best and worst places to cry.

The Best:
1. In the shower, because the shower washes it all away. And I love the way tears and shower-water mixing. And I can stay in the shower until I'm done crying, which is a nice kind of compartmentalizing.
2. In a sad movie. Even if I'm crying for an entirely unrelated reason, crying in a sad movie is always acceptable. Also, it's dark so no one can see the ugly face contortions.
3. In front of a fire. Cliche? Yes. But it's nice because the fire is perfect for staring at while crying. Ocean is a nice substitute if fire is not available.
4. While driving. Just as long as I'm not crying so hard I'll get in an accident, driving is enough of a distraction to serve as a reality check and keep me from being totally absorbed by my tears. Also, there is usually enough time to cry for half the drive and then spend the other half getting myself together.
5. At a funeral. It's always okay to cry at funerals. Even if it's my cousin's sister-in-law that I never met, it's still always okay to cry at funerals.
6. At church. Everyone cries at church. And the entire church knows all my business anyway, so no one will ask why I'm crying. If all else fails I can just hide behind "I was moved by the power of God".
7. While riding public transportation. I look out the window and avoid eye contact with any people that may be around. And there are enough junkies and crazies on public transportation to make me a run-of-the-mill commuter.
8. In bed, because that way I can curl up in the fetal position under the blankets and all but disappear.
9. Anywhere I can play music, which always makes crying better. Wild Horses is my sobfest song of choice. It breaks my heart, but in the addictive hit repeat over and over again way.
10. Around someone who loves me. Because sometimes, I just need to be held while I cry. 

The Worst:
1. When I'm talking to a large group of people. It's infuriating to not be able to communicate my message because I'm crying.
2. When I'm talking to a complete stranger. It's not fair to either of us.
3. Staring at a wall. Because then I get entirely encompassed in what I'm crying about and there is no grounding force at all. I end up wallowing, and crying way harder than I need to.
4. While chopping onions. Deep down I know I'm not fooling anyone.
5. On an airplane. Stuck in a seat crying is hard. Also, the person next to me may or may not be sympathetic. Remember this ugly experience?
6. At a critique or job interview. Tears are perceived as week, manipulative and unprofessional.
7. At a wedding. No one wants to forever be remembered as the awful person who was too selfish to be excited about the marriage. 
8. When someone says something mean or I'm in the middle of a fight. Because then tears mean the other person won, and they mean that I'm too upset to respond well (if I can even communicate through the tears). And it just makes me feel weak. I hate feeling weak.

So there they are. That's my two-cents about the best and the worst places to cry. 

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