Thursday, December 8, 2011

I need an adventure

I spent last night working on my creative writing piece. It's a continuation of the "questions my therapist never asked", but I dropped the serious tone. It's turned into all the quirky things that make me smile because they make people interesting.
But here's the thing. By working on my creative writing piece, I really mean I spent my time from 5-10 like this:
Open google docs, write a sentence, try to fix sentence, delete sentence, watch Colbert report, write new sentence, give up on having a decent first sentence, go upstairs to get water with ice, sit down, write a second sentence, look for my missing right mitten, sit down with determination, write a bad sentence, write more bad sentences, read bad paragraph, curse like it's the apocalypse, delete paragraph, retype paragraph, try to fix paragraph, decide it might not be that bad after all. Repeat.
Somehow, sometimes I get good things. I had an idea when I was eating dinner last night. I didn't want to write it on my hand, so I wrote it on the inside of my wrist. Now it looks like a teenage angst tattoo. Except that it says "Blood type" and "Believing Santa" instead of being a cross or a swastika. I kinda like the placement though.
I love writing. I love it even when nothing good comes out. Because even though I may be the least spiritual person alive, writing makes me feel spiritual. So does being a woman, actually, but I'll talk about that later. Writing is probably the most spiritual thing I do. Not blog writing. Real writing. Writing when I open the veins. Which has gotten easier lately, because I've been so emotionally fragile. Writing when I finish and I've learned something. That's the best moment. To realize I learned something, because I let out something that was hidden deep inside. I guess writing is spiritual because it's personal and it's vulnerable and it matters. I can take down my armor when I'm writing in a way that I can't in my real life. And that's important because even though it means I'm giving people permission to judge me and think I'm stupid and laugh, I'm also giving them the opportunity to know me a teensy bit better. And I think that, the intimacy and vulnerability, is what being a spiritual being is about.

In other news, I think it's time for me to go on another adventure. Time to get out again. T-9 days until I'm in Hawaii.
Here's some pictures from the last adventure. They make me happy. What a life I have.
Dancing with Samburu Warriors

Petting a Cheetah

1 comment:

  1. I want a photo of me with Samburi warriors; petting a cheetah, not so much.