Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Femininity

I'm feeling incredibly feminine tonight. Not feminine as in I like pretty dresses and pearls, but feminine in the almost spiritual feminine way. I can't explain it. I think any woman could understand it. It's the feeling you get when you think about what it really means to be a woman, not just the petty stupid things, but the really important ones. The things you feel and you know you feel them because you're a woman.
Sometimes, I feel too childish to be a woman.
It all started with an essay I read by Terry Tempest Williams. It's a pro-choice essay, and my very favorite part reads:

"What anti-abortion activists within Congress or those standing outside health clinics intimidating women and their doctors fail to acknowledge is that no woman wants to terminate a pregnancy. No one who has ever felt the life inside them move can negate that power. It is never a decision made lightly, without love or pain or a prayer toward forgiveness.
Because what every woman knows each month when she bleeds is that I am not pregnant.
Because what every woman understands each time she makes love is that life could be in the making now.
Which is why when a woman allows a man to enter her, it is not just a physical act, but an act of surrendering to the possibility that her life may no longer be hers, alone.
Because until she bleeds, she will check her womb every day for the stirrings of life.
Because until she bleeds, she wonders if her life will be one or two or three.
Because until she bleeds, she imagines every possibility from pleasure to pain to birth to death and how she will do what she needs to do.
Because until she bleeds, she will worry endlessly, until she bleeds.
If a man knew what a woman never forgets, he would love her differently."

That's the kind of feminine I'm feeling. It's the connection I feel to those words. It's the gentleness and sensitivity and connections and intuition and nurturing. It's real. I know it is. I feel it as strongly as I feel anything.
I wrote a list of 23 reasons why I love being a woman. I think I'm going to turn it into a creative writing assignment. Maybe someday I'll post it. Or I'll just leave it in my journal.

1 comment:

  1. I used to assign REFUGE. Such a fine memoir. Glad you're reading it.

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