Thursday, November 24, 2011


Today is my first vegetarian Thanksgiving. It's going to be surprisingly hard to forgo turkey. It's a custom. I think I'll cheat the whole vegetarian thing a little bit and eat the stuffing. Even though it will be cooked inside the turkey. I can do Thanksgiving without turkey, but I just can't skip turkey and stuffing. I'm only human.
I guess the thing I'm most grateful for this Thanksgiving is all the super stunning people in my life. I know I've been going on and on about them, but humor me one more time.
In last line of The Catcher in the Rye, Holden says, "don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."  Holden gets it; attachment and vulnerability are scary because I run the risk of getting really really hurt. But, one thing I've learned the past few weeks, is that it is entirely worth it. Because attachment and vulnerability also mean that when the universe comes crashing down, I'm not standing alone. It means texts and calls and emails and cards will come in because people care. Usually it feels like they care more than they should. And sometimes I need people to care more than they should. I need those people who will ask "is there anything I can do?" and who check in with the most sincere "how are you doings?"I need the reassurance that the phone will be answered for the millionth time whenever I need it. I even need the people who say "I'm praying for you", because even though it makes me defensive, it's the most sincere way they can say I care about you.  I'm really good at pretending nothing hurts ever, but sometimes I feel really fragile. And I need people who love me because I'm secretly fragile.
So this Thanksgiving that's what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for the legion of people who always deliver exactly what it is I need. I love you all so much.

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