Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Faire ce qu'est difficile

I hate the term "new year's resolution". I think when you call something a "new year's resolution" it cheapens it. It means you're not doing it because you want to, but because you need a new project, new goal, new something for the upcoming year. I think you set yourself up for failure. New year's resolutions demand less dedication because it's such common practice to quit.
So this is not a post about my "new year's resolution".
This is a post about doing things that are difficult.
2011 will be the last full year I live at home. 2012 will bring graduation, college, moving out, living somewhere else, adulthood (yikes). I've been thinking about my last year of dependancy. I think of all the great opportunities I've had in my life, I haven't done enough things that are difficult. I've done things that require strength, and things that require work, and some that require both. What I haven't done is something I really didn't want to. Something that required a huge amount of sacrifice.
So I've decided 2011 will be my "buy nothing year". What does this mean? Well, I'm not going to spend money, mostly. Permitted spending includes: shopping at the grocery store (I can't grow my own food), haircuts, gas, school supplies, and the occasional emergency I'm sure I'll have. Not permitted includes: eating out/fast food, going to movies, buying clothes, buying books, and getting presents for or from other people.
Why?
Well, I don't have any sense of necessity. I often catch myself thinking things like I need to buy a new pair of boots, because the 4 pairs I have don't fit this specific purpose. Or I need to buy that book, because event though I have a huge pile to read, this one looks so good. Those aren't necessities. I don't want to start my adult life and learn that lesson the hard way.
Also, I want to learn to spend time without spending money. I don't like to think that I can't enjoy myself or my friends without spending money. Isn't it sad to think that having leisure time takes money? I don't want that for the rest of my life. Some day, I'm sure I'll be a starving writer (with my best friend the starving actress), and I don't want to be miserable because I can't afford to go to a movie or dinner.
Maybe I'm utterly crazy. But the most important thing for me maintenent est que ca c'est ma choisir. I'm doing this. It's not that I can't get food after school or swing by starbucks. It's that I won't. I never thought I would find so much strength in the verb "will". I've always thought it was a rather ugly word. Yet, I find that I can say I won't do that, and feel incredibly empowered.
Yes, it's January 3. I probably sound like I'm taking this way too seriously. But this is something I've been thinking about since November and decided on since December. I've put a lot of thought into this and I'm serious about it.

So whatever you do, don't invite me to go to Nordstrom Cafe with you. Invite me to come to your house and we'll make waffles.

2 comments:

  1. Hey girl. Its been what, like 8 years since I've seen you? c'est une problem! (Lovin the french by the way) I'm loving the blog. Sorry I kinda pulled a creeper and found it, hope thats ok. Anyway, keep it up sweet thaang, hope to see you soon!
    Abby
    (do you even remember me! haha tait's daughter.)
    ps.
    goalorientedperson.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey girl. Its been what, like 8 years since I've seen you? c'est une problem! (Lovin the french by the way) I'm loving the blog. Sorry I kinda pulled a creeper and found it, hope thats ok. Anyway, keep it up sweet thaang, hope to see you soon!
    Abby
    (do you even remember me! haha tait's daughter.)
    ps.
    goalorientedperson.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete